My Birthday

Let's be honest, the actual number stops being interesting after 30.

But just in case anyone wants to stalk me, I am 32.

In the past few years of this blog I have done only 2 posts to commemorate my birthday, there was my 29th birthday post and my 30th on my 31st birthday post.

This year is a bit different - I want to remind myself of how hilariously off base I was about where I thought my life would be today.

For whatever reason when I was in my early 20's, I had this idea that at 30 I would have my shit together.

First of all, I am not sure what shit I needed to get together and still don't know.

Secondly, I am not sure why 30 was such a magical number.

Reality is I am exactly where I need to by at the ripe old age of 32, I may not know what I want to do when "I grow up" or what the hell the next 40 years will look like. But, I am right where I am supposed to be.

I imagined in my head by the age of 30 I would:
-Have a career - not a job, a career and it would be amazing
-Would be married
-Would have children
-Would have student loans paid off
-Would know who I was and where I was going

Reality is by age 32:
-I love my job, but am I going to be here forever? No damn clue!
-Dude, I did manage to get married haha
-Yeah never thought about the whole actually having kids, planning, etc just imagined they would 'happen' magically like on a movie or some shit and still don't know where this is headed today. But once again, it is okay.
-Hahaha... *wipes away tears* Hahaha *looks sadly at reality* -- I got another 4-5 years of that nonsense left
-Hey, I am starting to figure this part out. Not exactly what I thought my life would be, but I am getting there.

So on my 32nd birthday I want to remind my future self I didn't have a clue at 32 and probably still won't at 33, 42 or beyond.

But guess what? That is okay. It is okay to always be working towards the next thing or wanting more or trying more. I love looking back at this blog and seeing the progress of who I am and where I have come from.

Each year these posts will tell me something different about who I am and who I was - it is my life in chapters, I like that.

-Meesh

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