Communication is Key

Recently I shared about my own struggle with communicating (FYI I am a talker, kind of a shitty listener) and I realized a post on how communication can be easier might be helpful to people.

How many of you struggle with communicating with people in your life?

I am not talking about opening your mouth and saying words - I am talking about true communication of your needs, wants, thoughts, opinions, fears, feelings and more.

I am talking about the type of communication that is difficult because either you or the other person ends up defensive, fighting, angry, hurt, words are used as weapons, etc.

There are many pieces to communication - the actual exchange of information, listening, using "I" statements, learning you are responsible for your own feelings not other people, learning nobody can make you react or do anything and more.

Listening - not just hearing what people are saying but actively listening to them. There is a statistic that says we actually remember 25-50% of what we hear. So that means anywhere between 50-75% of what is said to us theoretically goes in one ear and out the other. So when communicating on important things actively listening is a must.

"I" statements - this one is easy. When talking to another party keep things on the "I." I am frustrated because I feel that you don't care about my needs VS. You don't care about my needs! It is harder to argue with the first statement than the second one right? Someone can not tell you what you are feeling they can only tell you what the intended by their actions or words.

Your feelings - this one is a tough one for most people. Going in to an argument prepared to tell someone what they did to make you feel/act/do something ain't gonna cut it. "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." In other words you can only control one thing in this world and that is yourself. Nobody else is responsible for how you react or what you do besides you. There is always a choice. So stop telling other people they are responsible for you.

Like so many things - it is a process of growth and learning. We should never stop doing either.

So whether you could write the book on communication, suck at it or are somewhere in between - keep your mind open to what others can teach you.



nik ann said…
Great post!!!! xoxoxo

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